Funny Almost 30 Years Old Jokes Girls

So, is someone you love and care for deeply turning 30, and they feel bad about it? Do they feel like they should mourn their birthday instead of celebrate it?

You need to help them snap out of it and make them understand that the thirties are a very important milestone in every person's life. You should point out the good sides of that third decade and make them laugh with some super fun jokes about turning 30.

To help you out, I've found some funny jokes and the best puns online about turning 30 and put them into this collection here. You can find a funny meme that will go with it, and there you'll have it – the funniest and most unique 30th birthday card/message.

Funny Birthday Wishes And Jokes About Turning 30

1. I wanted to get you a birthday cake, but I couldn't afford that many candles! Have a good one anyway!

2. Your 30s – one decade closer to having dinner at 5 p.m.

3. Don't feel down. 30 years old is only 120 months older than 20, and it's going to be almost the same – just subtract 90% of the fun.

4. Nothing changes when you cross thirty, except that you have to replace your moisturizer with anti-aging cream.

5. Turning 30? The good news is you can now afford a $10 bottle of wine.

6. Welcome to your 30s: where all your friends have babies, body parts hurt for no reason, and being asleep by 9 p.m. is your regular routine, even on weekends.

7. Welcome to your 30s, where every weekend is a baby shower, and the hangovers last for two days.

8. No more wondering if you should be out at a club. Now it's at home with wine and pizza.

9. It could be worse. You could be turning 31…

10. Here's to being 30! Where a night of drinking requires more recovery time than minor surgery.

11. When high schoolers start looking like preschoolers to you… you might be a 30-year-old. Happy birthday!

12. Ugh. Your thirties… when your friends from high school don't invite you to their kids' birthday parties anymore.

13. 'You're still a rockstar,' I whisper to myself as I take my multivitamin and climb into bed at 9:45.

14. Your life might finally be together, but your body is falling apart.

15. Congratulations on being one year closer to a senior citizen's discount for all your tickets.

16. People are like, 'I'm engaged!' 'I'm getting married!' and I'm like, 'Damn, I'm turning 30!'

17. Look on the bright side, at least you don't have to dread turning 30 anymore.

18. The biggest difference between your 20s and 30s is that your body doesn't bounce back as quickly, so be nice to yourself! Happy 30th birthday!

19. Welcome to your 30s. Ibuprofen is an acceptable breakfast.

20. When someone says 'ten years ago,' I think about the 90s, not the 2010s.

21. 30s life hack: Put your Nespresso machine next to your bed.

22. Turning 30 is as easy as jumping rope… if the rope were covered in hard metal spikes, you were barefoot, and the ground was covered in hot lava.

23. How can you say we are old after 30?? We just became women! Like anyone took us seriously in our 20s… pshhh.

24. Life before 30 is for making mistakes, and life after 30, is to repent for all of them.

25. Your 30s – where if you don't get 8 hours of sleep one night, you'll pay for it for a week.

26. I will be 29 until further notice.

27. Whoa, you're 30. 10,948 days since you fell out of a vagina. If you feel old, just think about how old the vagina is.

28. In dog years, you'd be getting closer to your death.

30th Birthday Sayings And Puns

1. Turning 30 be like: I can feel myself rotting.

2. Too old for TikTok, too young for Life Alert.

3. 30 is still young…er that 31.

4. Life not only begins at 30, but it also begins to show.

5. Thirties? More like the "hurties." Strange little pains that somehow invade your knees, back, and occasionally your digestive system. They seem to be immune to prayer and wishful thinking.

6. 30: When stuff your mom said starts to make sense.

7. 30 is the new 20* *said no one ever.

8. You'll never be trusted by a teenager again. You're officially too old to trust.

Funny But Sweet 30th Birthday Jokes

1. If you think about it this way, you're only 21 years and 3,285 days old. Happy 30th birthday!

2. Don't think of it as turning 30. We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your 20th birthday.

3. 30s life hack: Feed the cat before it starts meowing so you get a good night's sleep.

4. If you're this depressed now, what are you going to do when in ten years, you hit the big 4-0 mark? Come on. I'll even help you blow out all these candles. Happy 30th birthday.

5. Forget parties, gym memberships, and makeup. It's time to spend all your money on cats, dogs, and children! Happy 30th bday!

6. You're 30 years old? You're 3 perfect 10s! Happy birthday.

7. Today, you are approximately eleven thousand, one-hundred and seventy-five and a half days old! Now, 30 doesn't sound so bad, does it?

8. Happy birthday! Don't worry about turning 30. You can say you're 29 for several more years, and people will believe it!

9. I'm 30, but I still feel like I'm 20…until I hang out with 20-year-olds. Then I'm like, no, never mind, I'm 30.

10. Aren't you a little glad to be out of the turbulent 20s? Make way for a superior decade! Happy 30th!

11. Try not to think of it as 30 candles. It's really just 15 candles per lung, and you're not old unless you can't blow them all out in one breath."

12. You're turning 29 again?! You freak of nature.

13. I've decided I'm not old. I'm 25 plus shipping and handling.

14. Happy first anniversary of your 29th birthday.

15. At thirteen, you were officially a teenager. At twenty-one, you were officially an adult. But at thirty, you are unofficially old. Happy 30th birthday.

16. Your 20s might have just abandoned you, but at least you can take solace in the fact that you have now entered your 30s and not your 40s. Don't feel bad. Enjoy today!

17. One good thing about turning 30: you're not turning 40.

Hilarious 30th Birthday Messages

1. The countdown to your midlife crisis has just begun. Tick tock tick tock. Happy 30th birthday.

2. Once you turn 30, you should really just delete your social media. Believe me, this is a huge, huge favor. It will just go downhill from here.

3. Congratulations on reaching Level Thirty! You might want to save your progress – it gets waaaay harder from here.

4. In your 20s, you learned a lot, grew as a person, and had tons of fun. Now keep that shit up. Oh, and happy birthday!

5. You are now an official mature and responsible adult. This means you also have to start acting like one. Happy 30th birthday from all of us.

6. Wow, you're 30 now. There's no better time in your life to celebrate with friends or family…except if you're 29 or younger. Happy 30th.

7. I'm sorry you won't be able to watch a full TV show past 8 p.m., even on a Friday, and you probably won't be able to hang out with friends as much since all of them are pregnant. But, hey, look at the positive side. You're finally considered an actual adult! Best wishes on your special day, and happy 30th birthday!

8. Happy birthday to someone who wasn't welcomed into the world by a tweet or status update.

9. Happy 30th Birthday, only 35 more years of working, and you can retire.

10. By your age, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was a self-made billionaire. You might not have a pile of cash like Zuckerberg, but you have so many things that you can be proud of, such as the fact that you existed before his Facebook was born. Happy birthday!

11. Just because you have turned 30 and officially become an old man/woman doesn't mean you can't put on your 30th birthday party hat and enjoy this special day. Happy birthday.

12. Have fun waking up at 6 a.m. every morning to drop your kids off at school, unless you tell them to take the bus – in that case, have fun sleeping in and feeling guilty!

13. Welcome to the age your childhood self couldn't even fathom. Happy 30th.

14. Welcome to 30! The age when you should know better but really don't!

15. Relax, your 30s are just like your 20s, except you look 10 years older, and everything is a little less fun.

16. Don't think of it as turning 30. Think of it as being old.

17. Have fun on your birthday, but don't get too crazy. Remember that you can't blame your irresponsible behavior on "being in your 20s" anymore.

18. Oh, you're 30? One drink means 3 days of a hangover.

19. You're 30! From now on, if you get pregnant, people will assume you did it on purpose.

20. Congratulations, you now have 30 excuses to let someone younger than you lift something heavy.

21. Welcome to your 30s, when you know slightly more than you did in your 20s. Happy 30th!

22. Enjoy your 30th birthday, if such a thing is possible.

23. Congratulations on turning thirty. From here on, life is less about knowing how old you are and more about believing how young you feel. Happy birthday.

24. If you weren't my best friend, I would tell you how dreadful it is to turn thirty. But since you are, I don't want to spoil the party.

25. Welcome to your 30s! Just so you know, body parts start hurting for no reason.

26. Don't worry about turning 30. You'll get used to it. Of course, you'll be 40 by then.

27. Happy 30th birthday! May your 20s rest in perfect peace.

28. Turning thirty is the moment when you are old enough to understand life's bigger responsibilities but young enough to shirk some of them while you still can. Happy 30th.

29. Don't let anyone tell you you're old just because you're turning 30. I want to be the one to do that.

30. Happy 30th bday! If you were a card, you'd be an antique!

31. I can't believe it took you thirty years to grow up. Better late than never, though. Happy 30th birthday.

Funny 30th Birthday Quotes

1. "I remember the good old days when I was 30, and all my kids were shorter than me." – Melanie White

2. "When I got into my 30s, and especially when I became a parent, my concept of 'fun' changed, becoming less likely to involve people getting high or hammered or naked, and more likely to involve balloon animals." – Dave Barry

3. "Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult." – C.S. Lewis

4. "At thirty, you can get flirty without being dirty." – Greg Tamblyn

5. "Don't worry about being 30. You'll get over it within a decade." – Melanie White

6. "Inside every thirty year old is an eighteen-year-old asking, 'What happened?'" – Ann Landers

7. "Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty-year-old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen-year-old. If you've got both, you can play baseball." – Pete Rose

8. "Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty." – Robert Frost

9. "Being 30 is no joke, but it can be a lot of laughs." – Melanie White

10. "Turning 30? Age is just a number! False: Age is a word." – Dwight Shrute

11. "I have never admitted that I am more than twenty-nine, or thirty at the most. Twenty-nine when there are pink shades, thirty when there are not." – Oscar Wilde

12. "Thirty really sneaks up on you – kinda like a thong." – Melanie White

13. "When you turn 30, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents." – Blair Sabol

14. "When you turn 21, you finally experience the freedom of full throttle. If you make it to 30, it means you've discovered there's a brake pedal too." – Greg Tamblyn

15. "After 30, a body has a mind of its own." – Bette Midler

16. "Everyone says 30-year-olds should settle down. I think I've just settled." – Melanie White

Final Words

Now you have everything you need to write the funniest birthday greeting card ever. If you want to send a friend a simple birthday message on social media, you can find a fun birthday meme and send it together with your text.

And if you need a fun 30th birthday gift idea, you can get them a custom T-shirt with one of these funny quotes or jokes about turning 30 printed on it. That will definitely make them laugh and make your present unique.

I'm sure you'll make your loved one feel happy and loved on their special day. And that indeed is the most important thing in the world. Love and happiness…

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Source: https://herway.net/jokes-about-turning-30/

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